Here is All My Oil

Here is all my oil.

What does that really mean?

To pour out all our oil? To break our alabaster jar? To pour that which is most valuable all on Jesus because of who He is?

We sing about it in our worship so often. We talk about it, we preach messages about it, and we speak of pouring our oil on Jesus. But what does it actually look like to live it out?

A couple of months ago, it seemed like many things in my life were very smooth sailing, so to speak. Not that they weren't before, but I just felt like I finally had a little bit of a settled feeling about what was coming next. So many things and opportunities I had prayed for were coming about, and I was really excited about the season I was in and the one I saw coming.

Then suddenly, it wasn't all so clear anymore. Suddenly, part of the season I thought was coming no longer existed, and part of the season I saw coming didn't look the way I thought it would. And in the moment, it felt like one of the deepest levels of confusion I had ever experienced. I felt so alone, so confused, so unsettled, and so uncertain.

Now, I know that might sound a bit dramatic, but let me pause here and say a few things real quick.

It isn't dramatic to feel this way. Life is heavy sometimes, it's uncertain sometimes, and to be blunt, it can be so confusing. But we were never meant to carry the weight alone.

Our assurance is not found in the decisions we make, in the way everything works out, or in the things we do. It is found in our Heavenly Father, who loves and cares for us more than we will ever know. The One who knows every desire of our hearts and every step on our paths.

And the reality is, sometimes we need a reminder of that.

It took a reminder from someone who loves me to realize that I was looking for assurance in the wrong places. I was looking for peace in the things happening around me and in the way I thought everything was going to work out. But in shifting my focus back to Him, I finally felt a peace and rest I had been longing for.

No, everything wasn't solved. No, I didn't have all the answers. But I did finally rest in the One who does. And there is no greater peace than the peace you find in Him.

I found myself praying one evening and just asking God why everything had suddenly become so confusing. All these things were things I thought He had placed in my life, things I had thought He was calling me to do. Why did it feel like they were falling apart?

Or were they really falling into place, and I just needed to trust Him?

I felt Him ask me, "If you had none of these things, would I still be enough for you? Would you still be satisfied in Me?"

That stopped me in my tracks.

Had I allowed even the things I was doing for Him to become greater than Him? In my striving to serve, had I let the opportunities to do so become more important than the One I was serving? Had I allowed even the opportunities I had prayed for to become things I relied on for security?

What He has for us was never supposed to be greater than who He is to us.

God isn't just worthy of our surrender when we understand what He's doing. He's worthy of it because of who He is.

And in that moment, I let it all go. And I can tell you whole heartedly I have never felt more surrender to what the Lord has for me and absolute peace in that I am just to be a vessel, and whatever the Lord chooses to do through that, is exactly what is meant to be. Those things in life I desire will never be something I have to make work or strive for when I am fully surrendered to the Lord and letting Him guide my every step.

I was never attempting to do anything in my own power or consciously choosing to let something come before Him. The problem isn't that we care about what God has placed in front of us. The problem is when the things He gives us become the things we depend on more than Him. Sometimes, we can become so focused on doing something for Jesus that we forget to simply be with Jesus. I think we sometimes do this without recognizing that in our heart to serve Him with everything we can, it can lead us to a place of just that, doing everything we can and finding security in our service and not the One we serve. But we can’t gain anything from that, we can never do anything to be worthy of anything, we are just fully known, cared for, and loved because we are a child of God.

I realized that the positions I am in and the opportunities He has given me, whether they look the same as I thought they would or not, are not what my assurance is built on. He knows exactly where He wants me, and He is asking for my obedience.

Not my understanding, my obedience.

And in my obedience and in my heart to serve Him, I can trust that He will lead me, provide for me, and direct my steps. He will provide what I need for what He has called me to do, even if the seasons and opportunities ahead look different from what I imagined.

But it's because of Him, nothing else. It's because of how much I love Him, how much I long to serve Him, and how much I long to pour out my heart of gratitude to Him. And in that, the ministry that flows will be that of His hand, not mine. And I can say that even in the short season since that moment with the Lord, I have seen Him work so mightily and see the fruit of exactly how He has worked everything out. And I look forward with such joy and eagerness at what He will continue to do.

Now, you may be wondering where all this leads to the oil.

This is where. Last week, before our chapel service, where I am blessed to be on the worship team, there was a song on the set list called All My Oil. I had planned to go to bed early one night, but I turned on that song to listen through it so I could know the song, and it immediately broke me. I listened to it for nearly 3 hours on repeat.

"Here is all my oil,

Lover of my soul

I saved it all for You,

I saved it all for You

Day by day I bring

This costly offering

I saved it all for You

Jesus, all for You."

That jar, that oil, cost something. In Matthew 26:6-11, we read about a woman who poured expensive perfume from an alabaster jar over Jesus, and the people around her questioned why it had been “wasted” instead of sold. But Jesus defended her offering.

She brought something valuable and poured it out at the feet of Jesus. Something that meant something to her. Her offering was costly, but what was worth more?

Jesus.

What was worth the cost?

Jesus.

What held the utmost value?

Jesus.

You see, nothing we ever do, own, have, or experience will ever come close to the value of Jesus.

So when we say we pour our oil out, when we sing the song and talk about the scripture, do we mean it? Are we willing to take everything that holds value and give it to Jesus?

Even if it’s opportunities we wanted?

Even if it’s seasons we desire?

Even if it’s relationships we long for?

We know who He is, and we know He always has better.

That oil was valuable, much like our gratitude and worship, but offering it also cost something. And I think there is something beautiful about that. Our surrender is twofold. It is both the worship and gratitude we bring to Jesus and our willingness to lay down the things we hold tightly to: our time, our wants, our desires, our expectations, and even our need to understand.

Surrender isn't about proving our love for Jesus by giving up as much as possible. It's about recognizing that He is worthy of our whole hearts, even when following Him means releasing something precious to us.

Are we willing to lay everything at His feet? To give that which is most valuable to us, both in our gratitude and in the things we deem valuable in our lives? Do we come back to knowing that if He is all we have, we would still be fully satisfied in Him?

What happens when the things we prayed for don't happen the way we imagined? What happens when a door closes, a season changes, or the future we thought we were walking toward suddenly looks different?

Will He still be enough?

Listening to that song, I was breaking my jar at the feet of Jesus, pouring out my oil. I was surrendering my plans, my expectations, my desires, and my need to understand. I was giving Him my everything and acknowledging that He is the most valuable thing I will ever have.

And I see so clearly now.

No, not my whole future or exactly how life will play out.

But I see so clearly who the God I serve is.

And that is enough.

I don't have to understand every season to trust the One who leads me through it. I don't have to know how everything will work out to know that He is worthy of my trust. And I don't have to hold so tightly to the things I thought my future would be when I know that my future is held by Him.

So I will sit at His feet daily, offering all that I am and all that I have, because of who He is.

Because He is worthy of all my oil.

Will you?